This article was written by a person with FTD to highlight the challenges of dealing with the holidays with an FTD diagnosis. AFTD hopes care partners and those diagnosed can benefit from the perspective presented here.

By Cindy Odell, former Council member

All holidays can be stressful for anyone at any time. It doesn’t matter if you have FTD or not. However, when you do add FTD into the mix, this is what you get:

Holiday Madness!

It was the Christmas holiday about 10 years ago when it became clear that there was something going on with me beyond the normal exhaustion the holidays bring. Shopping for those perfect gifts, baking dozens of cookies, decorating the house, and sending cards had all become chores instead of the holiday joys I had always experienced. I suspect many people reading this will say, “Oh, me too!”

I wanted to continue participating in the holiday activities I loved. I just couldn’t do it.

So, we started to rethink how our family traditionally celebrated each holiday. My husband contacted family and friends and suggested we all cut back. When some pushed back, we insisted. After all, we all spent too much money on gifts, meals, and celebrations. It helped that I enrolled my husband in reaching out to family and friends.

The best part of that strategy was that I never once had to say, “I CAN’T DO IT!” Dinners became platters or easy soups. No one went away hungry, and many, when leaving, said, “This was a great idea!” When the next special day came up, we even suggested a buffet restaurant.

The next step in our plan was to ask for a volunteer to host the next family get-together. This became easier with each holiday that passed. And as each get-together wound down, I would ask, “Who will sign up to do this at your home next year?” It wasn’t just Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa. It included all the religious holidays, along with Thanksgiving, Mother’s and Father’s Day, Fourth of July, and every other occasion.

As my FTD worsened, we found it necessary to stop hosting any of the family get-togethers. While we would have truly loved to continue being the family hosts, the stress would have taken a huge toll on me, my husband, and so many others. If we had not spread the privilege amongst family and friends, I believe my FTD progression would have sped up with each event. But because of the few years we spent cutting back, the transition was easy.

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AFTD has resources to help those affected by FTD to manage the holidays:

• Community Perspectives: Managing Overstimulation During the Holidays
• Dear HelpLine: Navigating Travel During the Holidays
• Resources for Traveling with FTD